|Posted by More Than Me on September 6, 2011 at 12:30 AM|
I was in church on Sunday and my pastor gave a very compelling sermon. In it, his spirit spoke to mine when he said if you want different you have to do/be different. You have to shake things up a bit and change socially, politically, and economically; knowing there is always a price to pay for change.
I used to be tired of having to battle my demons and my past so hard, living in such a severe case of denial to a lot of things that I was ready to call it quits, but God wouldn't let me. Then as I came to grips with my life, dealing with who I was and who I am now, I was able to get a better grip on my struggles with my physical, spiritual, and emotional life.
If you aren't specific in what you ask for, you get a loose translation of what you ask for. I had to learn that too. Be purposeful and specific. There are a lot of things I want out of life, but the things I can do for others to get what they want out of life, I can't seem to do for myself. I try many things, but still seem to fall short no matter how hard I work. It is disheartening at times, but it is not in me to give up on anything. Good or bad, I ride with it until it can't be riden any more.
How do I shake things up? It's more than moving to another city or state, because that can just be taken as running. I've done that many times before. The problem with running is, you are bringing yourself with you and unless you change along with your zipcode, your surroundings will turn in to the same. What do I believe in? What do I stand for? Where do I want to go and where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? What did God call me for? What is my purpose for the life he has given me? Once I can answer those questions for myself, making the changes in my life would be easier. They have been easier, as I transition to the woman in Christ I'm supposed to be.
I still have far to go, but I'm on the road. I'm on my way. I am jumping over speedbumps and leaping over hurdles with God's coaching and grace. Even in my darkest times, he's never left me alone and I am forever thankful. Grateful for this life he has blessed me with, the good and the bad.